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We've been close companions for over two decades, who has faced and conquered many challenges, which I admire. But, she has been constantly taken by surprise in relationships. Her husband left her, and it was a huge shock. Many of her social circle vanished then, since they had been focused solely on the spouse. She was stunned by her. She made more effort toward our bond, and must have understood more acutely what friendship was.

The Pattern of Disappearance

Throughout this period, many of her friends vanished and she isn't certain of the reason. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, even though she was highly competent, and she left not understanding the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Recently, both of us stepped back from work leading to more frequent meetups, yet I realize the part I play in our friendship is as the audience. I start discussion points but she shifts conversation onto things she cares about. Politically, she holds firm beliefs. I try to recommend verifying facts or other angles.

She is organizing a trip abroad I've visited repeatedly even called home for some time. I attempted to share personal experiences, yet it was unappreciated. She essentially solely sought me to confirm her plans. I have ended 30 days in that place she hopes to catch up, but I don't.

Evaluating the Situation

I am unwilling to act as a friend who cuts and runs without explanation, yet I doubt she will ever understand the impact of her actions on my confidence. Right now, I am in distancing myself. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

It's possible to walk away, however, that approach is not often the easy answer that we desire. Yet having a direct talk aiming for working things out takes courage and openness on both your parts.

Experts suggest applying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Initially is to state what typically happens during your discussions. Aim for this to be based on facts and basically what a recording device would replay. The second is to express the way it leaves you feeling. Ideally, there's no disagreement here. What you feel are valid, after all. The third step is to ask how you are both will alter the interaction in your relationship."

Consider she too has her own side, meaning you must to remain ready to hear that. A helpful technique is telling her:

"It's your turn to speak and I'm going to not say anything for 30 minutes."

This can be effective to encourage better communication.

Key Takeaways

This person may dismiss your concerns, as some people hold onto a “survival narrative”: they maintain a story about themselves they won't abandon as it feels essential depends upon it and it's all familiar to them. This is difficult when there seems no thoroughfare in such cases, mere obstacles. However, she might at first react this way then consider on your words. And should a resolution isn't found a resolution, it will give you closure from having been honest with her.